Humor Injections: A Humor and Healthcare Blog

Does anyone else find it odd that CMS refers to hospital blunders as “never events.”  I understand that the phrase refers to events that should never occur in a hospital but “never event” suggests something that never happened.  I recommend that from now on, we refer to “never events” as HoTHDiTHaM’s (pronounced “hoth-di-thams”) or How The Hell Did That Happen Mistake’s.

Works for me.

Ron

A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, a highly respected medical journal mind you, reportedthat post menopausal women can increase their sex drive by using a testosterone patch.  Feel free to read the article here:  Testosterone Patch Article.

A few years ago, I discovered I had a dairy allergy so I eliminated dairy almost completely from my diet (except for the occasional double scoop of Baskin Robbins’ Jamoca Almond Fudge which I’ll eat ’til I die…or it kills me).  But I really missed my Starbucks’ lattes.  So, I started drinking soy lattes and after a period of adjustment, learned to love them.

Several months ago, I found out that soy is not that good for you.  In fact, it produces estrogen.  And I wondered why I had this constant urge to redecorate the house.  Now, every time I get a soy latte, I watch myself walk away from the coffee store to make sure I’m still walking with a manly stride.

This sex study suggests that testosterone will make post menopausal women want to have more sex.  So, in other words, making a woman more like a man will lead to more sex.  Go figure!

Ron

Since part of my job is convincing you healthcare staff out there that you need a bit of en”lighten”ing, I came up with the following questions to determine if you need humor. If you answer yes to any of these, then you need a humor injection (splitting-your-side effects may occur which can keep you in stitches).

1. Did you ever wake up in the morning and not want to go to work?
2. Did you ever want to write this in the medical record: “Administer 3 slaps upside the head, BID.”
3. Have you ever tried to have your coffee administered by IV?
4. Did you ever believe that the hospital gown manufacturers actually put a different number of snaps on each side of the sleeves?
5. Have you ever wished the call button emitted an electric current?
6. Did you ever wish that one of the positions on the electric bed was “eject?”
7. Have you ever wanted to tell the Process Improvement team what they can do with their flow charts?
8. Have you ever had a day where “do no harm” felt like merely a suggestion?
9. Have you ever wished you could test the defibrillator paddles on the JCAHO surveyor?
10. It’s a privilege being a caregiver. Have you ever wanted to experience the privilege of being an “I don’t care-giver?”
11. Did you ever want to take your lunch break in the morgue just because you knew the patients there would not interrupt it?
12. Have you ever dreamed that your CEO was your patient and you were responsible for administering the enema?
13. Have you ever wanted to say to a patient, “Get over it. Do you think you’re the only person to have ever been sick?”
14. Have you ever used the word “dysfunctional”….to refer to your boss?
15. Have you ever enjoyed a sick day?
16. Have you ever had one of those days when everything went well only to wake up in and realize it was just a dream?
17. Have you ever wanted to feign a heart attack to get out of a staff meeting early?
18. Have you ever taken your work home?……and your spouse asked you why there was a an ill patient in the guest room?
19. Have you ever wanted to tell the social worker exactly how you feel about that?
20. Did you ever wish you could take the Dilaudid pump home for the evening?

My guess is that you need some humor!

Ron

Maybe not, but it sure makes the experience better.  So says comedian Robert Schimmel in his book Cancer on $5 a Day* *(chemo not included): How Humor Got Me Through the Toughest Journey of My Life.

Schimmel is an edgy comic who was blindsided by cancer at the peak of his career.  As he vacillated between fear and uncertainty, he vowed to use his sharp wit to get him through the experience.  And in the process, he helped others along the way.

He describes his first day of chemo, having been seated near a particularly bitter patient named Bill.  Schimmel’s attempts at small talk were met with resistance and glares.  Then Schimmel made a wise crack about an ugly cancer patient.  Bill couldn’t hold in the laughter.  After that, Bill came to the sessions with jokes of his own.  “You cured me,” he said to Schimmel.

What makes Schimmel so interesting is that he holds no punches in dealing with a nasty illness that also holds no punches.  In many ways, he says what we’re all thinking - but without a censor!  And it works.  In fact, it endears him to both staff and patients.

If you’re a cancer patient, I think you’ll enjoy Schimmel’s raw manner of confronting of his illness.  If you’re a healthcare staff person, I think you’ll see the patient care process from a whole new perspective.  So, for a laugh, a great deal of insight, and lots of heart, check out Cancer on $5 a Day* *(chemo not included): How Humor Got Me Through the Toughest Journey of My Life.

Ron

I’m reading a great book by neurosurgeon Katrina Firlik, the first woman admitted to the neurosurgery residency program at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center - one of the most prestigious neurosurgery programs in the country.  In the book, Firlik chronicles the daily life of a neurosurgeon.  It’s full of fascinating information about the brain and it’s full of wonderful dry wit.

I hope to interview her for my next HUMORoids newsletter.

You can find out more about Katrina here:  www.KatrinaFirlik.com.

Humor may not be rocket science but in this case, it is brain surgery.

Ron

I was interviewed by a radio station in Houston last week.  They wanted to know how, in the aftermath of Hurricane Ike, they could find humor in their every day life.  I had been “prepped” by the producer for a 5-10 minute interview but 3 minutes into it, the host said, “And that was Ron Culberson from FUNsulting, etc.  Thank you Ron.”

Now, I’m not sure whether they had only planned for 3 minutes or if I was so boring, they couldn’t take any more of my shallow drivel.  I was a bit perturbed at the early exit because I didn’t get to the specific ”how to’s.”  All I told them was that there was a significant difference between laughing at tragedy and laughing in the midst of tragedy.

Now that I think about it, maybe that’s all that needed to be said.

An article in USA Today this morning said that the current financial crisis is affecting our health - it’s making us ill.  A survey by the American Psychological Association indicated that the economy is now a bigger stress than work.  Yikes!

So, what can we do?  Beyond all the advice that the politicians, financial analysts and Oprah give us, I suggest that our predicament is all about perspective.  In fact, almost all stress we experience is about perspective.  It’s how we look at any given situation and what meaning we give it that determines how we feel.

If you see the state of the economy as the end of the world, you will feel like it’s the end of the world.  If you see it as a temporary blip on the screen, then you’ll feel an emotional blip.  The only thing any of us can control is this moment in time - not the past nor the future.  And in this moment in time, we can only control certain things.  One of those things is how we think. 

My suggestion is to do what you can to change your situation but don’t spend all of your waking hours worrying about what you cannot change.  That which you cannot change is not worth taking up too much of who you are.  Wow, that’s profound……and written in some sort of Yoda type language.

Humor can help you keep your footing.  It allows us to see alternative ways of thinking and at this crazy time in our world, we need another perspective.

So, my prescription?  A joke a day until the troubles go away.  If that doesn’t work, try adding bourbon!

Ron

I got an email the other day advertising that October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month.  I was already aware of breast cancer and not very fond of it.  In fact, I’m sure I don’t need an entire month to remind me of it.  But, I understand the importance of raising awareness so I didn’t get myself too worked up.

Then, it occurred to me.  October is also National AIDS Awareness Month.  So, now I’ve only got 15 days for each issue.  In order to spread my awareness evenly, I’ll have to alternate days.

Then I realized, I can’t simply alternate days because it’s also National Depression Education and Awareness Month.  For this, I not only have to be aware, I have to be educated too. That left only 10 days for each issue.  Now I was depressed.

Before I committed to putting my awareness plans in my calendar, I decided to check online to see what else I should be aware of.  Bad idea.  Turns out there are 47 things we’re supposed to be aware of in October.  How can we do that?   There are only 31 days in October and the last 3 are consumed by Halloween which I believe is a tad bit more important than the national dialogue on the awareness of Sun Dried Tomatoes.

I can’t possibly be aware every day or I risk tarnishing my reputation for being shallow.  And yet, it seems that it’s my civic responsibility to support these causes.  But there are too many.  Such as…

National Pet Wellness Month (Pet Illness Month was earlier in the year)
National Country Music Month (I’m not sure but I think they suspend NASCAR races during October to celebrate this event)
National Family History Month (Dysfunctional Family Month is between Thanksgiving and Christmas)
National Book Fair Month (I bet the parade is thrilling)
National Pickled Peppers Month (No, I’m not saying it again)

And there are many more.  So, since I can’t recognize all of these celebrations adequately, I must focus my energy on a few.  I chose the following three:

National Popcorn Month
National Caramel Month
National Toilet Tank Repair Month (Just in case I overdo my celebration of the first two).

By the way, National Awareness Awareness Month is in November.  Just wanted you to be aware of that.

Ron

I just discovered a nifty site with lots-o-humor-blogs.  Here’s the link.  Enjoy!

Humor-Blogs.com

Ron

I think I have too much time on my hands because, just the other day, the following thoughts came into my head:

When did the ER become the ED?  A word of advice:  Don’t Google ED!

Who designed hospital gowns?  Don’t you think Togas would be more attractive?  There could be the Mark Antony and the Cleopatra versions with matching Depends.  They would certainly fit right in at Mt. Sinai hospital!

Do you think that babies will ever be born wireless?  That is, without umbilical cords?

Why is BID, TID and QID easier than 2/day, 3/day and 4/day?

Who is responsible for improving the process improvement team’s processes?

What’s brighter, the light over a patient’s bed or the sun?  Ironically, even the sun shuts off at night.

If you have any funny healthcare observations, I’d love to hear them.

Ron

After laughing so hard at the Big Kahuna Comedy Club, a pregnant woman in Oregon went into labor and eventually gave birth to a heatlhy daughter.  The new mother said, “It had been a really good night of comedy.  When I got up to leave, I realized my water had broken.”

In the past, a comedian’s goal was to make you laugh until milk came out of your nose.  Now, the bar has clearly been raised.

Ron