Humor Injections: A Humor and Healthcare Blog

Archive for November, 2009

Humor in the Health Care Bill

30 Nov, 2009  No Comment

My friend George Campbell also known as Joe Malarkey, the The Worst Motivational Speaker in America, has a hilarious show called The Upside of Down.  You can see more about him here:  www.JoeMalarkey.com.

Recently, George posted ten “gems” he found hidden in the Senate Health Care Bill.  I thought you might enjoy them as much as I did.

Number 10 – All babies will now be delivered Fed-Ex Ground.

Number 9 – Doctors will be expected to be as courteous and efficient as the Post Office.

Number 8 - Botox will be free to anyone whose name starts with a “P” and ends with an “elosi.”

Number 7 – Instead of saying “Ahhhhhh”, you will now be required to say, “Uh Ohhhhhh.”

Number 6 – Free vaccine to eradicate malaria, swine flu and Fox news.

Number 5 - Old Plan: Stomach stapling. New Plan: Love handles whited-out.

Number 4 - CAT scans now performed using real cats.

Number 3 - Hospital stays will be shortened by requiring patients to wear the gown with the gap in the front.

Number 2 - Good News: Doctors are required to make house calls. Bad News: You no longer have a house.

And finally, the Number 1 Thing Hidden in the Senate Healthcare Bill: 3 Words: Surgeon General Kevorkian.

Ron

I’m Just Saying

13 Nov, 2009  No Comment

The more I work with healthcare professionals, the more I have to wonder how certain things came to be.  For instance…

Why are healthcare staff so hungry?  The longest I ever saw a food item last in a nursing station was rougly 27 seconds.  And quite honestly, the environment is not that conducive to eating.  It’s as if the nurse says, “I just replaced a catheter in room 14 and then had to clean Mrs. Johnson up after she soiled her blue pad.  Hey, what’s that on the counter, sticky buns?  Yummy.”

Who’s responsible for monitoring the process improvement team’s processes?  When they inform me that we’re going to meet weekly for six weeks to work on reducing the time we spend in meetings, I think they need to have their flow chart examined.

Were nursing caps the original inspiration for Mr. Coffee filters?  I suspect that many years ago, a nurse was leaning over the coffee peculator when her cap fell off.  And the entire event was coincidentally witnessed by a German doctor named Otto Drip.

At what point do male doctors decide that gynecology is where they’re called to be?  If I had gone to medical school, I would have kept that decision quiet.  In fact, I would have lied by saying, “Yeah, I’m going to specialize in sports medicine…or maybe orthopedics…or possibly cardio-cranial surgery.”

Do we really want the DMV to be responsible for identifying organ donors?  I can see it now.  “Mr. Smith, we have that liver you need.  Please have a seat and wait until your number is called.”

And here are some phrases you never hear in a hospital:

“That meal was delicious.  I especially enjoyed the slice of white bread.”

“Could I have my blood drawn again?”

“This hospital gown fits me perfectly”

“Boy, that x-ray table was comfy.”

“Look how elegant that doctor’s handwriting is.”

Ron

Making Learning Fun

10 Nov, 2009  No Comment

Last week, I had the privilege of doing a series of presentations for the New Brunswick Healthcare Quality Interest Group which is part of the Canadian Regional Health Authority.  My role was to show these quality professionals how to make the process of quality more fun.  Yeah, I know, how could quality be any more fun than it already is?

One of the presenters was Joan Lutes who showed how her hospital created a fun way of improving employee health by sponsoring a 5K run/walk.  She gave an overview of the project and then did something very interesting.  She showed a funny video depicting how they created excitement among staff about the event.  The theme of the video was based on Mission Impossible, complete with a disintegrating cassette recorder, and the scenes showed different people finding mysterious messages encouraging them to participate in the event.

As our audience watched Joan’s presentation, the atmosphere went from attentive to engaged to entertained.  The video captured everyone’s attention and I’m sure they will remember the experience a long time from now.  Not only did Joan infuse her project with fun and humor, she made our learning experience more fun as well.

That’s what it’s all about.

Ron