Testing for Tobacco
I recently read where some health systems will refuse to hire individuals whose blood tests positive for nicotine. In other words, if someone is a smoker and they only smoke at home, not at work, they could be prevented from working in some health systems.
While I understand that organizations want a healthy workplace and healthy employees, and I am in no way promoting the nasty habit of smoking, I think this is insane.
Do we really want to start analyzing an individual’s personal habits as a prerequisite for jobs? Will this lead to testing for presence of Ben & Jerry ice cream in fat people? Will we analyze blood to find out if someone drank a beer after its born-on date? And what about all the caffeine-addicted Starbucks fans? Will they be eliminated from competing because of a buildup of latte in their blood?
Between you and me, I think we’re testing for the wrong things. There are qualities that have a far greater impact on the work environment than smoking and bad health habits.
So, to provide a fair and balanced perspective, I suggest that healthcare recruiters develop blood tests for the following:
- The presence of the fish from the previous night’s dinner. These people might actually reheat leftover fish in the microwave at work – which is not good for anyone.
- The presence of an OCD gene for people who line up pantry items according to alphabet. These people will just annoy everyone and end up working in Quality.
- The codependency gene. Ninety percent of the healthcare workforce is already codependent. We don’t need any more. If that’s OK with you, that is.
- The birth defect known as Non-Healthcare Related Executive Syndrome. If you’ve never worked anywhere near a bedside, you should not be allowed to be in healthcare management. You’ll just use too many graphs and charts.
- The Day-shift-a-phobic gene. If you’ve worked nights for 30 years, there is just something wrong with you.
- The Phlebotomist with depth perception issues. I don’t need to be stuck…again.
I believe that if we begin the screening with these folks, the smoking problem will take care of itself.
Ron
Alan Clemens said,
Wrote on February 17, 2010 @ 9:58 am
Ron,
I have been tested many times in my life for something and each time I tested positive for laughter. To my knowledge there is no cure for humor, except continuAL laughter. In the case for and against smoking, I suggest to lite up with something funny, then inhALe and exhALe as often as possible. Smoke em if you got em.
AL