Humor Injections: A Humor and Healthcare Blog

Archive for Physicians

A Surgeon That’s Got a Personality!

3 Jun, 2010  No Comment

As I mentioned on my previous blog, my 15 year-old son had ACL surgery a few days ago.  He was a bit nervous even though we all knew it was somewhat routine.

The surgeon came up to talk with my son and he was just great.

He said, “I just finished watching the instructional video so I’m ready to do the surgery now.  I’m going to practice on that other patient over there before I get to you.  And in case you’re wondering, we got the ligament from a pretty good athlete.  But he was a second string guy.  Nobody will miss him.”

He was great and made my son much more relaxed.

For those of you in healthcare, this type of humor doesn’t just work with kids!

Ron

Healthcare Humor At Its Best

21 Jan, 2010  2 Comments

If you’ve had a bad day or just need a lift, please check out some of the funniest healthcare humor I’ve ever seen from my friend Brad Neider, MD.  You can see several short videos from his presentations on his website.

Here’s the link: The Healthy Humorist.  Click on one of the blue links in the middle of the page.

I particularly like the bit about dogs and healthcare.

Ron

I’m Just Saying

13 Nov, 2009  No Comment

The more I work with healthcare professionals, the more I have to wonder how certain things came to be.  For instance…

Why are healthcare staff so hungry?  The longest I ever saw a food item last in a nursing station was rougly 27 seconds.  And quite honestly, the environment is not that conducive to eating.  It’s as if the nurse says, “I just replaced a catheter in room 14 and then had to clean Mrs. Johnson up after she soiled her blue pad.  Hey, what’s that on the counter, sticky buns?  Yummy.”

Who’s responsible for monitoring the process improvement team’s processes?  When they inform me that we’re going to meet weekly for six weeks to work on reducing the time we spend in meetings, I think they need to have their flow chart examined.

Were nursing caps the original inspiration for Mr. Coffee filters?  I suspect that many years ago, a nurse was leaning over the coffee peculator when her cap fell off.  And the entire event was coincidentally witnessed by a German doctor named Otto Drip.

At what point do male doctors decide that gynecology is where they’re called to be?  If I had gone to medical school, I would have kept that decision quiet.  In fact, I would have lied by saying, “Yeah, I’m going to specialize in sports medicine…or maybe orthopedics…or possibly cardio-cranial surgery.”

Do we really want the DMV to be responsible for identifying organ donors?  I can see it now.  “Mr. Smith, we have that liver you need.  Please have a seat and wait until your number is called.”

And here are some phrases you never hear in a hospital:

“That meal was delicious.  I especially enjoyed the slice of white bread.”

“Could I have my blood drawn again?”

“This hospital gown fits me perfectly”

“Boy, that x-ray table was comfy.”

“Look how elegant that doctor’s handwriting is.”

Ron

In the “Face” of Injury, Humor Does Help

14 Sep, 2009  No Comment

I had an unexpected visit to the ER last week (as if these trips are ever planned).  On the first day of a motorcycle trip, a pickup truck pulled out in front of me forcing me to ride off the road into grass and gravel.  I did fine through the grass but didn’t fare so well in the gravel.  My Harley went one direction and my body, led by my chin, went another.  After the dust cleared, I had 10 stitches in my chin and a bad case of road rash on my face.

Overall, considering the situation, I am both thankful and blessed.

It goes without saying, but I still will, that I was not in the best mood after my accident.  I had faced (so to speak) a potentially fatal situation; I was now going to miss a great 5-day ride with my brother; and I had 5 hours of ER treatment to look forward to.

So, I decided to look for opportunities to laugh…or at least to chuckle, since it hurt my chin to laugh.

My first opportunity came when I asked the ER staff to make sure I didn’t look like Mickey Rourke when I healed.  Unfortunately, in this particular part of SW Virginia, they didn’t know who Mickey Rourke was.  So that one was just for me.

My second opportunity came when the doctor asked me how I was.  I said, “I never truly embraced the wisdom in my dad’s admonition to ‘keep my chin up.’”  He smiled but as we all know, ER doctors are not allowed to fully chuckle.

Then, when the nurse was washing my wound (I regret that I didn’t get complete sponge bath), I asked for the full facial, waxing, and pedicure.  She laughed.

Score.

Finally, my best laugh came when I arrived at the follow-up visit with my family doctor.  The receptionist looked at my mangled chin and asked, “What happened?”

I said, “I cut myself shaving.”

Now here’s the best part.  She said, “Really?”

Now, that’s funny.

Ron

Kids Have It Good

29 Apr, 2009  No Comment

I just got back from taking my son to the orthodontist.  It was like a factory in there.  Kids in one side and out the other.  Five chairs filled at all times and more on deck in the waiting area.

For us parents, there were lots of magazines in the waiting area.  Redbook, Field and Stream, Hygienists Gone Wild.  My particular favorite is People.  In fact, I try to schedule some sort of doctor’s visit every few weeks so I don’t have to subscribe.  Besides magazines thought, there’s not much more for the parents.

But you know what the kids get?  A Mario Brothers video game and cookies.  Yep, fun and food.

These two simple items make arriving at and leaving the orthodontist fun.  If the doctor is running behind (which never happens even though he moves more kids through there than Chicago O’Hare Airport), you can play some Mario Brothers.  If the visit causes you some discomfort, oh, there’s a delicious cookie for you as you leave.

It’s brilliant.

Next time you adults go to the doctor, the dentist, or God forbid the emergency room, look around for the items that are designed to make your visit more fun.  Occasionally, I’ll get lucky and discover a copy of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.  More likely, I get artificial plants, a grumpy receptionist, and a big sign that tells me to pay upon leaving or else they’ll give me my illness back.

Kids have it good.

Ron

The Best of Wits End

6 Feb, 2009  No Comment

A new book is available for those of you who’d like more healthcare humor.  It’s called The Best of Wits End:  Medical Humor at Its Braniest by Harold Ellner, a physician.  The book is a collection of puns and punchlines generated by phsicians from a contest that ran for years in a pysicians’ magazine.

Examples of these humorisms are:

  • Would a restaurant owned by a psychiatrist be called Oral Fixation?
  • Does the term “GI series” refer to military ballgames?
  • If an orthopedist owned a saloon, would its name be The Plastered Joint?
You can order the book from Amazon or Xlibris.
Ron

 

Is Surgery is Easier Than Humor?

16 Jan, 2009  3 Comments

I just read a startling article that reports, “the New England Journal of Medicine found that when surgical teams heeded a simple checklist — as pilots do before takeoff — patient-mortality rates were cut nearly in half and complications fell by more than a third.”  To see the entire article, go here:  Surgery Article.

So, let me get this straight.  If I go in for a seven-hour open-heart surgery complete with new arteries and a foot-long scar, my surgeon is just winging it?  I assumed, incorrectly it seems, that every surgeon had a checklist.  It might look something like this:  A.  Put patient to sleep.  B.  Don’t peek at anything private unless it’s part of the procedure.  C.  Don’t cut an organ unless it’s necessary.  C.  Don’t leave a scalpel in the abdominal cavity.

As a humorist, I can’t get through one day without a checklist.  For instance, today, “write blog” was on my checklist.  It was done by 2:00 p.m. so that all those people who don’t read my blog would not be disappointed.  Still on my list for today are:  

B.  Re-write dead pig punchline.
C. Find out what Twitter is.
D. Move the pile of papers on the left side of my desk to the right side. 

I need a checklist for this inane crap and yet the guy who cut my tonsils out was doing it off the top of his head.

In the future, I would prefer not knowing about research that uncovers information like this.  I’m more content thinking that just like the instructions on my Ikea bookshelf, my neurosurgeon has a checklist of all the parts.

Ron

If The Doctor Fits…

25 Nov, 2008  No Comment

Caritas St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center in Boston has launched an online survey to help patients find the right doctor.  It’s an ingenious idea.  But what if they don’t have enough doctors for all the specific requests?  There are only so much good bedside manner to go around.

 

I thought it would be fun to share my list of my “must have’s.” In my opinion, a good physician… 

  1. Conducts virtual colonoscopies.
  2. Always has his hands and stethoscope pre-heated to 99 degrees Fahrenheit.
  3. Receives an electric shock whenever she says, “This won’t hurt a bit.”
  4. To avoid possible confusion, never keeps oral thermometers in the same building as rectal thermometers.
  5. Offers to go halvesies on my co-pay.
  6. Keeps snotty nosed, coughing, contagious kids in a quarantined room in the next county instead of the same waiting room I’m in.
  7. Offers general anesthesia for any procedure.
  8. Hires former Hooters waitresses as nurses, aides and office staff.
  9. Offers a 10% discount for each year less of school that nurse practitioners and physician assistants attend when they’re the only ones that see me.
  10. Reduces the information on all the forms to:  Name ________  What’s wrong? ________
  11. Replaces waiting room reading material such as Field and Stream, Redbook and Highlights with the latest edition of People, Maxim and Hot Nurses Gone Wild.
  12. When needing a urine specimen, sends me to a room equipped with videos of Niagara Falls, the Mississippi River and a Moen wide spray shower.
  13. Allows me to cough without turning my head.  It’s when I turn my head, that they usually get the jump on me.
  14. Has test results in the same year the test was performed.
  15. Speaks Patientese intead of Doctorese.

 

Let me know if you agree with any of these.

 

Ron

Another Day in the Frontal Lobe

15 Oct, 2008  No Comment

I’m reading a great book by neurosurgeon Katrina Firlik, the first woman admitted to the neurosurgery residency program at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center – one of the most prestigious neurosurgery programs in the country.  In the book, Firlik chronicles the daily life of a neurosurgeon.  It’s full of fascinating information about the brain and it’s full of wonderful dry wit.

I hope to interview her for my next newsletter.

You can find out more about Katrina here:  www.KatrinaFirlik.com.

Humor may not be rocket science but in this case, it is brain surgery.

Ron

Funny Times and Healthcare

18 Aug, 2008  No Comment

Funny Times is a monthly newspaper that’s all about humor.  It includes cartoons, articles and political commentary an it’s very funny.

In the May 2008 issue, there was an article called “A journey into my colon - and yours” by Dave Barry.  You can find the article here:  Dave Barry Colonoscopy Article.

Additionally, there were two cartoons that made me laugh.

One showeed a man talking to his doctor.  The doctor said, “We’ll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you’re healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests…”

The other showed a doctor telling a patient, “At your age, good health is pretty much a thing of the past.  My advice is, find an illness you enjoy.”

I can relate.

Ron

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