Humor Injections: A Humor and Healthcare Blog

Archive for Stress

Sometimes We Forget the Importance of Humor

1 Sep, 2010 No Comment

I had polio when I was 4 1/2 months old…back in 1952. Obviously before the vaccine. As much as I’d love to make this all about me, it isn’t! It’s about a friend of mine, Roger Anderson. Roger and I met in 1980 when I started playing wheelchair basketball with the local team, the Eugene Lowriders (most of the other teams called us “Lowlifers”, but that’s another story). Anyway, Roger and I, along with all the other teammates, became good friends. But as the years have gone by, we’ve lost many of them, including Roger. About 10 years ago Roger developed a brain tumor and after several months of fighting it, he died. It was a sad day for all of us, but like you wrote about in Humor Me, we were able to find some joy at Roger’s celebration of life.

During the service, those who wanted to would get up in front of the congregation at his church and speak about Roger. And all the stories were pretty much the same…Roger was a nice guy, whom everyone liked, and he helped the kids with their chairs, and if you needed anything Roger was always there…blah, blah, blah. Now, I don’t mean to by cynical, but the Roger I knew would have barfed if he’d been there! (Actually, there was something sticky on the drivers seat when I got back to the car, but I never was able to prove anything!) The Roger I knew was funny; from his hair, which was always in place, right down to the aftershave he never was without, including before he hit the court on game day! But the story that really shows Roger was one I heard about two weeks before his death.

When Roger was a child (4 or 5) and living in North Dakota, he and his brothers were playing with a bucket and gas trying to blow up stuff. A practice that is common among most rural males…my apologies if you’re a rural male! Anyway, there was an accident and Roger was burned over 80% of his body. As the years went on, he lost both his legs and had to have several surgeries. Now, fast forward to two weeks before his death. One of our friends, Loran Cushing, went to see Roger in the hospital and during this conversation, Roger mentioned that when he dies he hoped they cremated him so he can finish the job he started all those years ago! Ahhhhhh! A Rogerism if I ever heard one!

So in the midst of this tribute (at the funeral) to Roger’s “helpfulness” to friends and family, I got up and related this story to the 100+ people there. When I hit the punch line, all I heard was silence. I stood there a few seconds, although it seemed like a few hours, then the laughter started to build. It was as if people wanted to laugh but were afraid to, but it just got too funny for them to ignore. It still brings tears to my eyes to relate it all these years later.

After the service his sister, Joyce, sought me out and gave me a huge hug and thanked me for telling the story. “No one seemed to understand Roger,” she said, “until you told that story. Now everyone is talking about Roger’s sense of humor and how he always made us laugh! Thank you!”

After reading your chapter in this book, it made me realize that I hadn’t thought of Roger and the great times we had over the years for a long time. It also made me realize that I haven’t brought enough humor into my life recently as I’ve been feeling a bit sorry for myself since I’ve started to feel the effect of post-polio syndrome. The other article that has inspired me is the one by Michael Aronin, the guy with CP. I’ve actually seen him once a long time ago and envied him for his humor. I’ve always used humor to combat my situation, but never had the courage to do anything about it. With yours and Michael’s help, I’m moving in that direction.

Thanks Jim. – Ron

The Pros and Cons of Cynicism

16 Aug, 2010 No Comment

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the relationship between cynicism and humor. I admit that I’m pretty cynical these days and while my cynicism can easily lead to negative thinking, with a little effort, it can also lead to humor.

Merriam Webster’s online dictionary defines a cynic as “a fault-finding captious critic.” Of course, then I had to look up “captious” which apparently means an inclination to stress faults or raise objections. And cynical is defined as “contemptuously distrustful.” (Note: I cynically expect that I will never use the word “captious” in a sentence).

Essentially, cynicism is marked by fault-finding distrust and criticism. Clearly a trait that would not be adorned by the masses.

We all know the terminal critic. He’s the one who always complains about the weather, the temperature, and the meteorologists. “How can they get paid for being wrong all the time?” Or she is the one who frowns upon any discount or sale. “There must be something wrong with it for them to sell it at such a discount.” These people are the life of the party – at least when we watch them for our own entertainment.

Cynicism as a personality trait is not pleasant.

However, cynicism that leads to humor is pretty cool. Let’s look at the difference.

A cynical personality looks at the world through poop colored glasses. Everything and everyone is suspect. There is no inherent good and conspiracy theories abound. A true cynic is always right and everyone else is always wrong or worse yet, out to get them. I remember Archie Bunker once saying, “I ain’t paranoid. I know that people are out to get me.” He’s a good example of a true cynic.

A cynihumorist, however, uses cynicism to see the absurdity and humor in everyday life. This is the person who looks at a situation and then twists his or her head and thinks, “Hmmmm, that’s weird.” My friend Dale Irvin, a humorist, once said that when people talk about the weather in Phoenix, they always say, “But it’s a dry heat.” He said, “So is fire but that doesn’t mean I want to live in it.” He took his cynicism about the weather and turned it into something funny.

Turning cynicism into humor can be a healthy way taking the high road above negativity.

So consider your approach to cynicism. Is it steeped in negativity thus leading you to a never-ending distrust of situations and people? Or can you turn it into something funny which brings people together through common experiences?

To get you thinking about this, here are some ways to turn healthcare cynicism into humor:

Cynicism: The doctor never signs his orders.
Cynihumor: I’m going to staple the orders to my forehead until the doctor realizes he needs to sign them.

Cynicism: Mrs. Johnson will NOT stop pressing her call button.
Cynihumor: I’ve attached my car battery to Mrs. Johnson’s call button. Next time she pushes it she’ll be shocked when I come to her room.

Cynicism: I hate meetings.
Cynihumor: I love meetings because I can’t hear Mrs. Johnson’s call button.

Consider having a luncheon meeting where you and your colleagues turn your cynicisms into cynihumor. It might be fun!

Ron

Stand Up and Mental Health?

30 Jun, 2010 No Comment

Just ran across this great program called Stand Up For Mental Health founded by David Granirer.

Basically, it’s a duel benefit by helping those battling mental health issues to develop self confidence while doing stand-up comedy AND to educate the community by fighting the stigma of mental illness. There is a great article in the Virginia AP News: Program Teaches Mentally Ill to do Stand-up Comedy. Check it out.

My favorite line from their website? “Most people think you have to be nuts to do stand-up comedy. We offer it as a form of therapy!”

Now that’s crazy!

Ron

Look for an interview with David Granirer in our newsletter later this year.

What’s Your Focus?

24 May, 2010 No Comment

I just read a quote by Tim Kizziar that said, “Our greatest fear as individuals should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”

Wow.

How much time, energy, and emotion do you put into things that don’t really matter? I bet it’s a lot.

People will give the finger to the driver who did not use his turn signal. A husband won’t speak to his wife when she puts the milk on the wrong shelf in the fridge. And if the flight is delayed a few minutes due to bad weather, there is a line down the concourse of people who can’t wait for their turn to yell at the gate agent.

These are the things that we won’t remember ten years from now (or maybe even a month from now). And if we won’t remember them ten years from now, should we really be investing any energy into them?

Here’s what I suggest. Next time you’re dealing with a person or situation and you feel yourself being sucked into something that may not be that important, ask yourself this, “Compared to Lindsay Lohen’s most recent escapade, is this really that important?”

Works for me.

Ron

How to Make My Layover More Fun

21 May, 2010 No Comment

Thanks to the guy with the magic keyboard that made my time in the Little Rock Airport much more fun. Click on the link below to hear some sweet sounds.

Little Rock Airport Musician 5-21-10.

Ron

Less Stress After 50? Bring it On!

19 May, 2010 No Comment

A cover story in USA Today says that stress and worry decrease dramatically and happiness increases after the age of 50. This is based on research published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Science.

This is great news but I can’t figure out how the heck it works. For instance…

My knees are stiffer but my emotions are more flexible?

I pee more but get pissed off less?

My belly droops but my smile doesn’t?

Maybe I just can’t remember that I’m unhappy!

Ron

I’m a Public Nuisance

11 May, 2010 2 Comments

Yesterday, while traveling to a speaking engagement in North Texas, I stopped in a Starbucks for a much needed cup of coffee. Decaf, of course.

While I was waiting for the coffee, my phone rang so I grabbed my coffee and took the call at an open seat in the store. I didn’t want to talk and drive, and the wind was blowing so hard, I couldn’t take the call outside. Seemed reasonable to sit down and have a quick conversation.

A few minutes into the call, a man two seats away took out his iPhone, turned on a loud song, and put the iPhone on the seat next to me. Apparently, he was using the space to work and my phone call was interrupting that important work.

At first, I was irritated. Later, however, I realized I should have had some fun with him.

I could have said, in a loud voice, “I love this song,” and started dancing in the store.

I could have started talking louder telling my caller, “They have music in this Starbucks so I’ll need to talk louder than usual.”

Or, I could have sat down next to the guy and said, “Mind if I take my call here since that music is so loud?”

What would you have done?

Ron

A Smile Among the Frowns

9 Mar, 2010 No Comment

When I speak to healthcare audiences, I emphasize our tendency to focus on the negative and even our inadvertent desire to out negative one another. For instance, if someone says, “I’ve had this cold for a week,” we’re likely to respond, “I had a cold for seven years once.” We seem to thrive on pointing out the negative.

The weather is too cold except when it’s too hot. The restaurant food is not as good as the last time we were here. Our joints ache, our eyes are getting bad, and our hearing is worse but luckily, there’s nothing worth listening to anyway. Gas is too high, home prices are too low, and I can remember when a cup of coffee was a fifty cents.

There’s so much negativity out there, when I run into someone positive, I think, “Boy is he out of touch with reality.”

While I must admit that I too can be the King of the Whiners, it’s not completely our fault. We’re given a smorgasbord of negativity every single day in the newspapers, magazines, and television shows that we absorb.

I subscribe to USA today because it’s the McDonald’s of news and I can get a nice snapshot of the news and still have daylight left. Today, I glanced at the third page of the news section and here were a few of the headlines:

Colorado rock slide damages bridge, road
Inmate ODs on pills before execution
Conservative Calif. senator says he’s gay
Six hospitalized after bad injetions
Oregon couple get 16 months in son’s death
Train collides with truck

Is it any wonder we’re negative? All of these articles have a definite negative feel to them. Even though there might be positive stories, it’s the negative slant that tends to grab us and it’s the negative slant that sells newspapers.

As a side note, the inmate who OD’d on pills is now in the prison hospital. The medical staff said he was not yet ready to “be released” for execution. So, I guess if you take too many pills, you’re not in good enough shape to be given a lethal injection. Really?

Buried on the news page today amidst all the tragedy and destruction is a two sentence article that read, “Mary Josephine Ray, who was certified as the oldest person living in the United States, died at the age of 114 years, 294 days.”

OK, so it’s not necessarily a “positive” article but it has the potential of being one of the most inspirational articles in the entire newspaper. Yet, it only captured 2 sentences.

I don’t know Mary Josephine Ray, so I went looking for information on the internet. Here’s the photo I found of her 111th birthday party:

Mary Josephine Ray

That picture says it all. I can guarantee that to make it to 114, you can’t focus on the negative. In fact, one obituary said that Mary “just enjoyed life.” Can you see it in her eyes?

It’s a shame when a woman who clearly figured out how to live is only worth two sentences in a newspaper while a state senator’s gay-ness gets a full paragraph and the rising price of gas gets half of the front page.

I want to live in a world where Mary Josephine Ray is plastered all over the front page of the newspaper and we have to look long and hard to find out that our home price fell another half a percent. If the world was like that, we’d all live to be 114.

Ron

Olympics Blunder is Raised with Laughter

2 Mar, 2010 No Comment

For anyone that would like to see how a bad situation can be made better with humor, all you had to do was watch the closing ceremonies of the Olympics.

Canada had a black eye due to the botched raising of the Olympic Torch Thingy in the opening ceremonies. It was awkward and certainly embarrassing for the Olympic Committee. However, at the closing ceremonies, they used a clown to pretend that the problem was only an unplugged electrical cord.

Here’s a photo: Olympics Closing Ceremony Clown

It was funny and it showed that in the midst of problems, humor can still be found.

Let that be a lesson to all of us.

Ron

How to Handle Adversity

11 Feb, 2010 2 Comments

OK, so here’s a rundown of my last five days.

SATURDAY: Had a speaking engagement in Denver while back home, we got 32 inches of snow. Wife and son were not happy that the Head of Shoveling was out of town. Flight home was canceled and rebooked for Sunday morning.

SUNDAY: Flew back to an unbelievable snow-piled situation. My neighbor had snow-blowed my driveway and sidewalk. We watched Superbowl and I was unimpressed with the usually hilarious commercials. Except for the one where the little boy slaps his mother’s boyfriend and said, “Don’t touch my mother and don’t touch my Doritos.” Very funny.

MONDAY MORNING: Took the advice of my friend who said I really needed to upgrade to wireless syncing technology and use IMAP protocol for my email.

TUESDAY NIGHT: Finally got all of my computer problems fixed after trying to upgrade a perfectly good system. Spent 24 hours working on this and $200 in technical support. My friend is hovering over the former friend list. Wednesday morning’s flight to Nashville for the National Speakers Association (NSA) board meeting was canceled and rebooked for Thursday morning due to incoming snow storm. Held on the phone for an hour to rebook it for Wednesday afternoon so I could get there Thursday morning for my meeting.

WEDNESDAY: Another 12-18 inches of snow fell on the 32 inches already on the ground. Wind was blowing 30 mph. Discovered the newspaper that I was certain had not been delivered as it shot out of the snow blower in approximately 5,000 pieces. Flight to Nashville was canceled and rebooked for Thursday afternoon – after my board meeting. Was on the phone for 1 hour to attempt rebooking for Thursday morning. That flight was now full. Should have kept it from before. Later that night, flight for Thursday was canceled and rebooked for Friday night – at the end of the first day of the conference. Held on the phone for an hour only to discover there were no earlier flights. Took my refund and canceled my trip.

THURSDAY (Today): Three-foot icicles are falling from the gutter as the sun starts to melt the snow. My prediction is that the snow will all be melted just in time for the Fourth of July parade.

So, while my computer and the snow created a lot of stress this week, here’s where I found humor:

Recorded voice on United Airlines hold line seems to be on Valium.
Doing donuts in the high school parking lot is a fun way to deal with lots of snow. Just remember where the speed bumps are.
Watching the sports section of the newspaper fly out of a snow blower is funny (Picking it all up, not so much).
Friend in Florida said, “I’d love to sit here and talk about your snow issues but I need to go throw some chlorine in the pool.” Irritatingly funny.
When my dog saw the snow and wind, she just peed on the porch and came back inside.
Throwing snowballs at icicles is better than carnival games (Note to self: Remind dogs and small children not to stand under them).
Finally, at least I don’t have to mow.

When you’re in the midst of adversity, by golly, there is humor.

Ron

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